Twenty years

Today I have lived in these hills for 20 years.  It is also the anniversary of my father's death 23 years ago today.  I have missed him every day.  I can't say the last 20 years has been good to me but I can say I have learned a lot and I am a different person than I was before I came.  I don't think I've ever gotten over the loss of my father and I have never found someone to fill that space despite years of effort to do so.  I miss him so much.