About sin

Are we not all born sinners?  Isn't that the purpose of baptism?  I do not know all the sins I have committed in this lifetime but I am sure there are many.  I know I have not committed any grievous sins, but they are sins nonetheless.  Would it not be amazing if such a thing as a pilgrimage really did give a new lease on life?  A baptism, a cleansing of the soul? 

And what is enlightenment?  It must be different for each person.  Every time I have had a brilliant new insight I think I am enlightened.  But it never stops.  Probably it should never stop or we would stop growing as humans.  Learning, especially about ourselves, is what makes us human, isn't it? 

In the telling

Tonight I shared my blog with more people.  These friends have been meeting with me in my book club for 3 1/2 years and we have talked about the Camino on a number of occassions.  We even read Shirley MacLaine's book The Camino together.  This month (October) we will read Paulo Coelho's The Pilgrimage together so I thought it an opportune time to go public with my plans. 

It's hard for me to share this blog.  Harder than I thought.  Most people probably do not see how intensely introverted I am.  They do not know how little they really know of me.  To keep an online journal means to put yourself out there for the whole world to read about.  It's a pretty scary thing especially to such a private person as I am.  But this is all part of the process, a part of the change and the growth.  To put my thoughts into print for those trusted ones I have chosen to share this information with, and those that they trust and share my address with. 

It is a long road to get to Spain.  It will take a great deal of time.  Most of the preparation for me is in my mind.  To be ready, to be open to the change, is the most important preparation I can make.  So I open my heart to this blog in hopes that my world will grow and my friends will understand. 

Miles to go

Walked 5 miles this morning.  It is a perfect morning to walk.  The aspens are starting to turn in some places, shrubs are losing their leaves and the birches are in full color.  The giant marshmallow did well but even she got tired.  I feel good.  My feet are getting better but I have a cramp in my right foot that won't work itself out.  The bad hip isn't pinching anymore so I think the 2 miles during the weekdays have done some good.  I hope I can keep increasing the weekends to get up to 10 miles a day.

Yesterday was my easy day in anticipation of doing more today.  I loaded up on my favorite pasta last night but when I got up this morning I wasn't sure I wanted to walk at all.  I'm glad we accomplished all the miles we did.  I hope I can do it again tomorrow.  This weekend is pretty free now so maybe I can get some good organizing done.  Still need to put more in the storage garage.  And I still need to get the rest of my clothes out of there so I can sort through them and get rid of some stuff.

I wish I hadn't put the backpacking gear in the far back of the garage.  I think about getting the stuff out that I will need for the Camino about everyday.  I don't know how I'm going to get all the way back in there.  I keep telling myself that when I get the Christmas decorations out I can climb through to the back and dig around.  I don't know if I should wait that long since by November it will be cold.  Patience is not a necessary here really.   

Being mindful

Today being mindful means remembering my goal to go to the Camino de Santiago in May.  I get so caught up in my day-to-day task that I lose sight of my goals.  My work went easy and well yesterday so I enjoyed the day.  I watched as the storm made the waves white cap on the lake over the internet webcam. I love it when it does that. Then I lose track of my direction and forget where I want to be.  I want to go to Santiago, to see the cathedral, to walk the path of thousands of other pilgrims.  Then I can return and find a new path to follow.  But until then I need to focus on my objectives, get things done, and be ready for the experience. 

Walking

Walking every day. Some days it is only 2 miles, some days more.  I've cut back on my efforts to get up to 5 miles per day quickly.  My body wasn't liking it much.  Time is also a factor; there isn't enough of it.  It's great that the mornings are cooler and the trees are turning.  Autumn is really my favorite time of the year. The birches are turning already. 

The doctor says I shouldn't stop the allergy shots for the summer.  The nurses say I am not really all that far into developing antibodies and since Europe is such a different environment I may not have all the allergies there that I do here.  It won't be possible to carry the shots with me.  I hope my allergies are better there.

A lost night

Let me go to Spain to atone for my sins in this life and the past.  Let me cleanse my spirit and return something new.  Let me walk away from before and toward a better future.  Help me to find what can be.

Another day

I am excited about my commitment to go on the Camino de Santiago.  It is in my thoughts constantly.  I use it to boost my spirits and have something promising to look forward to.  Some days get so bleak that I don't know where I am going.  But I have a direction for a short time next year and that gives me hope that I will find another direction to follow when I begin on this path. 

At first

When at first you plan to take a pilgrimage it seems that the time is so far away. What can I do to bring it to me this day and all the days until I journey?  Today is the first day of my pilgrimage.  From today every day is part of the journey and every day after will be the culmination of the pilgrimage.