Never forget

There are always those people who contribute to life's journey that deserve so much more than thanks.  One who has done so for me guided me to take this chance, this new path that I have chosen.  To have this opportunity may be the gift of providence, but to get to the point I am today has taken the encouragement of this one special person and I can only be ever incredibly thankful to know her.  The counselor has been more than a guide to me and today I take the steps to my own destiny.  I don't think I could have done so without her kindness and understanding. And so I say 'thank you' though that is far to little to say for so great a gift I have received.

A few days

It's been a while since I've blogged anything because I've been sorting things out in my mind.  I'm trying hard to catch up with my classes while keeping my appointments and continuing my traning.  It hasn't been working all that well for me.  I'm really on the edge of that abyss again and while I understand why, I haven't been able to effectuate a change.  I'm trying to stop taking a hormone pill and I think this is the major contributor to my mixed feelings about things.  This is the instigator of my sadness and while I wish perhaps I didn't try to stop it now, it is probably better that I do it now than when I am back in classes for spring semester and trying to do so much work.  Being the end of November I also have a number of things changing, like my health insurance and I guess I am worried about my allergy shots.  The pills I am taking only a vacation from because I want to restart my body system.  To help with this I am planning to start yoga classes at least 3 times a week.  This will supplement my already active walking regimen.  I guess I have too many changes taking place at the same time.

I've been mapping out distances and stops along the route to Santiago from Le Puy.  I have some terrific maps for the French region, showing topography, roads, and the pilgrim route all on the same page.  It is very detailed and so much fun to look at.  Also, while on a trip to do research on Monday I started some of the French language tapes.  This will be a challenge as I already do not remember much more than one or two words.

We have been trying to walk 6 miles a day and have been doing well at it.  Today the giant marshmallow cut the pad of her foot, probably on some ice, and was bleeding so I turned around at 1.5 miles so that it didn't get too bad.  Perhaps we will walk to the library this afternoon for a quick trip. Most of that is pavement and not trail so it should be a little easier on the marshmallows feet. 

Thank you

A big "Thank You" on this day to all of you who have been such good and supportive friends to me.  Perhaps you cannot imagine how much your little sentiments of support can have an impact, but they do and they have.  I could not have arrived at where I am today without your support.  And a special "Thank You" to the counselor, who has given me so much to think about!

My son has arrived to spend some little time with me.  The slopes open tomorrow so he has his priorities as well.  But he is here, now, and he is happy and healthy and I can't help but be thankful for that.  He's shown me pictures of his friends, talked about his trip to North Dakota, and shared stories of his college adventures and I can't imagine anything better. 

The giant marshmallow is going stir crazy because the snow and the fact that it is still hunting season has kept us cooped up for 5 days.  Soon November will be over with, December will be here, and despite the snow it will be safe to walk the Forest Service roads when the trail is blocked.  I am thankful there are so many alternative routes to hike around here for my training.

Snow days

Saturday it snowed here - a lot.  I've been working on a paper for one of my classes and trying to get caught up on things around the house.  So I haven't been getting out to walk as much.  Yesterday we went a short distance and turned around to go and get snowshoes; it is that deep.  I feel bad trying to walk down a trail someone has blazed a cross country ski trail on but with the snowshoes it maybe isn't so bad.  We walked to the post office and it was remarkably warm out.  The snow was melting fast and for the 1/2 mile it was to get to the PO I was breathing hard and sweating more than I have on my longer walks.  I suppose this is a good thing.  My butt muscles were terribly sore too.  The giant marshmallow kept stepping on my snowshoes, I can only guess she was thinking it was funny. 

I got my new guidebook yesterday on the section of the trip from Le Puy to the Pyrenees.  It looks like a more rugged section so I am hoping  this is a reasonable idea.  The scenery is fabulous however.  And, quite remarkably, I got a novel yesterday too, of one of my favorite fiction authors, Kate Mosse.  In the second chapter is described an old tower chapel whereby the description seems to come right out of my guidebook.  It's very interesting.  The story takes place in the same region of France.  I like Mosse's work because it is so gothic.  She uses French settings and mixes in a little paranormal experience with ghosts in the old settings where the story takes place. 

Time and Redemption

I went to look up what the time difference is in France and Spain and it is 8 hours ahead of us here.  That got me thinking about how convenient up-to-date information is across the globe so I looked at the weather in Santiago and it is 52 degrees and cloudy with a chance of rain.  It was, of course, mid-day there when I looked it up.  I am able to post the temperatures anywhere on my desktop so I now have my hometown, this town and Santiago, Spain weatherbug's on my desktop.  For the record it is 29 degrees here today as a comparison to the weather in Spain!

I have been thinking of redemption lately and what a wonderful concept it really is.  If one truly works hard enough one can completely change the way they are, what they do, and how they interact with people.  It is possible but it is a long, hard road to redeem oneself.  I suppose there are different levels depending on how deeply one needs redemption.  For the most grievous the road is difficult, but once committed to the path one can complete it in time.  I am on this road of redemption, this I know.  I may not know what I am seeking to redeem, but I do know that I want to change my life, the direction of my life, and come out of this experience with a new outlook and a stronger sense of self. 

Another start

Last thursday night we went to the movie about the Camino called The Way.  It was a good movie.  It encourages me to go further and as the characters reached Santiago I had the same excitement and amazement as I think they portrayed in the film.  There is, I believe, a 3-fold way to happiness and health for oneself and that encompasses the body (physical), mind and spirit.  Over the weekend I went to St. Paul's Cathedral to walk around and see what a cathedral really looks like.  I wanted also to be inspired to make the changes in my life, though I don't know how or what they may be in the end.  I walked around the cathedral reading all the information about how it was built, who the saints were that were celebrated here, and what were the meanings of the cathedral's design.  I sat in a pew and observed the choir practicing, people moving about and when a strange man asked to pass me in the pew though there were many other open pews I took it as a sign to move on.  I went downstairs to where I had come in having seen most people entering through the basement earlier during mass.  There is a gift shop of sorts there, a hallway to a museum that is under construction and a chapel.  Doors lead elsewhere beneath the cathedral and people passed in and out.  I went into the Cana Chapel and it was shadowy there.  I went to the front of the chapel and knelt down. People were passing by behind me, I could hear them, then someone turned on the lights.  It wasn't so dark a person couldn't see and I was happy to be in the shadows.  Enough light came in through the chapel windows.  As I knelt in the chapel I was overwhelmed by a sorrow I couldn't define.  It was something of a loss of the time in my past that has not been well spent.  I felt as though this was the beginning of my spiritual journey and that many more tears would fall before I reach Santiago.  It was a cleansing sorrow and I am so thankful that I have had this chance beginning.  There is a reason for this pilgrimage beyond walking the miles and I hope to find the reason for me.  Then, as the characters in the movie had to answer the question to get their Compostela at Santiago, I will be able to say how the Camino changed my life. 

I'm free

At last I am done at the library.  There is something so liberating about it that deep down I am happy.  That hasn't happened for some time so it is a wonderful feeling.  At least for the rest of the month I am not planning to look for any work.  I want to develop a new routine, get out and be walking, and see how things go.  I need rest.  I am so tired so much that I need this time to recuperate.  I have plenty to do around the house in getting ready for Spain. 

Yesterday I was researching starting farther east into France.  I am looking at starting my pilgrimage from Le Puy en Velay, another 500 miles back in France.  The trek is very much more rugged but I have so wanted to see more of France and this would be a great opportunity to do so.  There is the time concern, but from all the records I could still go from Le Puy to Santiago and on to Finisterre in the 3 months I have set aside.  I ordered a book to get a clearer idea of the route.  Now I feel like I need some maps of France and Spain. 

Midnight

I fell asleep on the couch very early this evening so now I am awake in the middle of the night.  I was restless in bed so I thought it would be fun to jump in the hot tub.  The moon is almost full tonight, casting sparkles to the frost on the grass.  The deer passed quietly through the yard in the cover of the darkness.  It is hunting season so they choose to be sneaky. The hot tub was fun and very steamy in the cold of the night.  The thermometer says its 28 degrees. 

I have recently talked to two of my favorite men friends and since I am wondering where I will end up, or where I want to live I asked the first M and he said, of course, the lake.  The second M said he thought this is the best place in the country to be, another of course.  Both find their happiness tied to the things they like to do best in life.  The first M loves the water, boats, flies planes, and in the winter when the water is frozen he always says he needs to go south to Florida for a bit to find some open water.  The second M is a climber, and this is a climbers paradise for certain, and he was telling me that there is a sky divers club about 50 miles down south and that he is excited to get back involved in sky diving.  I see that the trick for me is to find what most satisfies me and occupies my time and there I will want to be. 

I have been more and more excited to tell people about my planned trip to Spain.  I went to see my doctor today because I have a sore throat that keeps getting worse and he asked me how it was that I haven't gone back to my hometown yet as I had told him.  So I told him about my plans for Spain and my teaching assistantship next fall, and how this is my last week of work.  Same thing happened at the post office when I ran into a couple old friends (who didn't know each other at all) and I was excited to tell them of my plans.  Then as I was surfing the internet and checking on the movie The Way I discovered it is showing nearby and I am planning to go tonight (Wednesday).  I have to call and share this with my bookclub and see if they want to go.  I can hardly wait to see it - it is getting such great reviews by people who have done the Camino and others who have not.  Everything seems to be coming together so well I am so happy for the changes and the benefits I have right now. 

Winter adjustments

It's been very cold the last two days so I've only made it 4 miles each day.  Yesterday I had a hard time warming back up so I (so tough) had to go sit in the hot tub for a while.  I tried to read my trashy novel in there but my hands kept freezing when they were out of the water too long.  Today starts the last week of work for me and I am very excited about it.  I really enjoy my weekends and am looking forward to having them all week long now.  I've been mapping out my day, am planning to walk later in the day when it is warmer in winter, and read first thing, then read again after walking.  I am taking classes this January in Medieval Europe and Wars of Religion, two of my favorite topics.  I have lots of books on this period so I am excited to be studying it in a formal sense.  Life is really good.

I have a hard time with the concept of turning the clock back and discovered that this year I was way off in my assumption of what time it would be light out again.  I was very surprised and happy to learn that it is light out by 6 am again so when I wake up in the morning I don't have to sit in the dark so long.  Oh, the trials of being an early riser! But I did decide it is simply too cold to walk this early and I am looking forward to walking after the sun warms things up a bit.  It will be an adjustment for the marshmallow too but I think she will get used to it alright.

A Giant Snowball

We got to our daily average mileage today at 10 miles up the trail.  The giant marshmallow is turning into a giant snowball for as much as she loves the snow.  A little bit is left on the trail in the shady places and she was happiest bouncing in the crusty white stuff.  My shoes did very well and although my socks are wet my new shoes were never very uncomfortable in the snow or after shuffling through it and getting covered in it.  My feet were a little cold after a while but I thought perhaps that might help with the swelling that I usually experience when I walk so far. 

I am so excited about Spain.  Everyday is a new excitement about traveling to Europe and seeing the old cathedrals, homes and towns that have been there for hundreds of years.  It really makes me think about how young everything is out here in the West and how petty our issues of being from this town or that place can be.  I too am a pioneer in my everyday explorations though I live in a time where comfort and communications do not mean isolation.  I am chosing a life that few people choose because they are satisfied with where they are at and I want to find more, experience more, and live more than I have been. 

Elevation

I've had some questions about crossing the Pyrenees so I went online to try to find out what I am getting into.  Yes there are peaks in the Pyrenees above 11,000 feet but where I will be crossing them the elevation is around 4200 feet.  The highest peak comes later, closer to Santiago, and that one, Alto de Cerezales, is only 4921 feet. Of course they measure in meters so I had to convert the meters to feet. While this may not seem high considering our town is at or above 5000 feet, consider that the first peak, in the Lepoeder, is a climb of over 3,000 vertical feet in a little over 10 miles.  That is considerably steeper than anything we have around here.  So my training will include as much vertical climbing as I can muster. 

Today I went out to the wilderness area to start a bit of elevation work.  I absolutely loved it.  It was so quiet out there being the middle of the week.  The snow from Tuesday was still on the trail and the giant marshmallow was romping through the bushes and trees and having a terrific time.  The route we took was around 4 miles long though it is hard to judge from the maps the exact distance or elevation. I didn't get to take the hike that I had planned on doing today because there is much logging going on around the perimeter of the wilderness area.  I hope I can still get to my favorite places though before I leave in the spring.